Typeface developed from feedback of crit

After my crit today i got some feedback that the typeface i had designed didnt communicate 'concentration' very well it was more smash/broken. 
I was told to try and work letters inside the main letter to make it so you have to actually concentrate to see what letter it is.

Aswell as doing this version i also experimented with trying to make the typeface look blurred, i did thins by using charcoal. 

As you can see from this image, it didnt really work in the way that i wanted it to and i dont think it communicated the idea of 'focus' any better, so i decided to stick with the top idea and develop this into my full typeface.